new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize