2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
