mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
