Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
