do herpes really smell.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
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