I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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