There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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