So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
