If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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