how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
