I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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