i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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