Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Randomize
