She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
