Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
