I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
