fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
