i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
babies were throwing up all over the place
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
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