Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
