well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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