your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
