Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
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