So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
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