i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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