His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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