I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
