Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
