awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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