YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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