I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
