Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
it's not cheating when I paid for it
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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