I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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