hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
