Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Princesses don't give blow jobs
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Sorry my hands just texted you
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
