Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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