I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
