i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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