You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
