Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
