And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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