I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
