That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
