u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
grandma shit on top of the toilet
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Everclear isn't food dammit
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
