What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Farmville is her only friend.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Randomize
