I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
