you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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