I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
My ass is underappreciated
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
