I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
