Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Randomize
