What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
