My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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