weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
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