we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Randomize
