Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
