I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
