do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize