just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
