girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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