we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Found your dick twin last night
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
