I'm jealous of your bromance
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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