week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
