i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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