I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
