Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
