Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
