Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
