I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize